Satire & Other Silliness
Welcome and thank you for reading. At this rate, I plan to retire very soon, perhaps in seventy years or so. Of course, 'retirement' for writers seldom means we cease writing. Usually, few may discern the difference between a 'working' writer and a 'retired' one, except that many 'retired' writers begin churning out dreadful memoirs and other nonsense. This is attributable to senility, maybe. But no one seems certain, as rarely can anyone tell a senile author from one with intact faculities. No outward sign signals the border between the two. Now then, what was I saying? Oh.
Many of my articles yearn to be satirical. I have tried to talk them out of this ambition, but they never listen to me. Nor can I discover objectively whether they have achieved their goals, for I seemed to have misplaced my sense of humor. If you find it, kindly drop it into the nearest mailbox. Given these uncertainties, I leave it to the discriminating reader whether any or all of my articles effect satire, or if they merely scribble along in some lesser breed.
I hear that in this territory, the Author's Page, readers expect one to indulge in swagger, to boast shamelessly of one's creative aptitude, to elaborate upon one's personal interests and such. This implies readers who are willing to feign fascination with these exaggerated details, as I cannot imagine their interest being genuine. When I read an author's page which is filled with golf handicaps, favorite color, and other dreary inanities, I do not intimate a connection with the author, but instead only feel relief when the self-congratulatory monologue is over. Therefore, when I caught just a paragraph sneaking onto this page, I caught it by the tail and killed it before anyone might notice its arrival. I hope you appreciate the trouble that caused with those detestable People for the Ethical Treatment of Articulation. They picketed in my driveway for endless minutes, until I agreed to resurrect the murdered paragraph. But the joke is on them; I lied.
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All articles © 1995, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000 Michael McNamara
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